


Thank God Paula's Here

by ohmarqueliot



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: Gen, Post 3x13, Rebecca and Paula I mean, Reunited and It Feels So Good, feels so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 15:05:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13720212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmarqueliot/pseuds/ohmarqueliot
Summary: Nathaniel brings Paula to see Rebecca post 3x13.





	Thank God Paula's Here

Feeling a lot calmer than she would have expected in this situation, Rebecca tapped her fingers slowly over the cold metal table in the interrogation room as she waited for Nathaniel. Well, calm maybe wasn’t the right word. She was nervous about her sentencing, anxious about her future. But for the first time in a very long time, she knew that she was doing the right thing.

 

When the door finally opened, Rebecca got to her feet, smiling at Nathaniel and stepping around the table to greet him. The words died on her lips when she saw that he wasn’t alone.  “I’m only allowed visits from family and my lawyer,” she said, instantly regretting her pointless words but now that she had the opportunity, all of the things she really needed to say were suddenly stuck in her throat.

 

“Paula’s part of my legal team,” Nathaniel said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Paula offered her what was barely a smile, and she felt a small part of the glue that was holding her insides together dissolve. “It’s not technically a lie.”

 

She should laugh or at least smile at his joke, she knew that, but she couldn’t think about anything other than the fact that Paula was here. After everything she’d done, she’d shown up for her again. There were too many things to say, too many apologies to make. Nathaniel moved to the other side of the room, giving them some space. All she wanted to do was hug Paula and never let go… but she hesitated, confident that she couldn’t bear it if Paula turned her away.

 

Paula didn’t hesitate, stepping up to her and wrapping her arms around her, and that act of kindness broke her. She didn’t try to stop the tears when they came, didn’t try to muffle her sobs, and Paula held her as she cried into her shoulder, clutching at her tightly. "I'm so sorry,” she said as soon as she could form coherent words. “I'm sorry for lying to you, I'm sorry for manipulating you into helping me. I'm sorry for telling you about it in a stupid list - that was a dumb idea.” She shook her head against her shoulder and then pulled back so that she could see Paula’s face. Her words didn’t feel adequate, but they were all she had to offer just then. “I'm sorry for doing the same stupid shit again and again."

  
Tilting her head, Paula reached up and wiped her tears away with her thumbs, cupping her cheeks for a moment before letting her hands drop, and Rebecca was absolutely certain that she didn’t deserve such tenderness. "I'm sorry too,” Paula said, furrowing her brow and smiling at her ruefully. “If I'd answered your call that night then you might not be here right now."

  
Rebecca stared at her in shock. "No. Don't you _dare_ blame yourself,” she said, in complete disbelief that she’d even considered the fact that she might be at fault here. That was just… _no._ “This is _all_ on me,” she said firmly. “All of it. I need to take responsibility for bringing him into our lives, for everything that's happened for the last few weeks.” It hit her all at once, then, every single terrible thing that she’d done, every terrible thing she’d faced. “I pushed him off a _building_ ,” she gasped, the moment swimming before her eyes. Trent’s knife hovering above Nathaniel’s head, Nathaniel completely unaware of how close he was to death, the all consuming fear that had left no room for anything other than reaction. “I couldn't let him kill Nathaniel, I couldn't."

 

Her voice was shaking, her hands trembling, and when she caught the wretched look on Nathaniel’s face from across the room it was too much for her. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, letting Paula pull her into her arms again, and she let out all of the fear and heartbreak that she’d held inside for the past few days.

 

“I’m so glad you’re here,” she mumbled when the lump in her throat shrank enough for her to speak. “I thought you’d never speak to me again.”

 

“Well I wasn’t going to,” she said, and her bluntness made Rebecca huff a surprised laugh before she realised that Paula was serious. “Even when I walked into that courtroom, it was more to torture myself than anything else. But what you said about changing, about taking responsibility…” She pulled back, catching Rebecca’s gaze and holding it, her hands firm on her upper arms. “But Cookie, you can’t lie to me again,” she said firmly, and Rebecca didn’t let herself shy away from all of the hurt and grief that confronted her there. “You just can’t.”

 

“I won’t, ever again,” Rebecca said earnestly, meaning it with every tiny part of her. “Ever, ever, ever.”

 

Paula pressed her lips into a thin smile, and Rebecca returned it with the same amount of feeling. They both knew that the words would mean nothing until she proved herself worthy of them, but at least it was a start. At least she had a chance. And she was not going to ruin it this time.

 

Wiping her eyes, she looked over to Nathaniel, unsurprised to find him still watching her. The smile he offered her was hesitant. “Thank you,” she mouthed at him, incredibly grateful to him for giving her this time. He nodded his understanding, some of the tension dropping from his shoulders.

 

When she turned back to Paula, it was to find her looking at Nathaniel as well, her expression surprisingly fond. “I’m not all you should be thanking him for,” she said, raising her eyebrows at Rebecca and side-eyeing Nathaniel consideringly. “He’s in some serious trouble with daddy over you.”

 

Scowling, Nathaniel gave up all pretence of privacy, stepping up to them and shooting Paula a warning look. “She doesn’t need to know –“

 

“Yeah, she does,” Paula said lightly, deliberately ignoring Nathaniel’s frustrated sigh. “Nathaniel Senior came to the office last night,” she told her. _Nathaniel hadn’t mentioned that._ Screwing her face up in confusion, Rebecca looked questioningly at him, but his eyes were focused firmly on the floor. “He’d heard all about your case, and he wanted Nathaniel to talk Darryl into making him the proxy for his shares instead of you, so he could force you out.”

 

She hadn’t even considered how all of this was going to affect the firm. Her heart sank. “Oh. Makes sense. Can’t have a murderer befouling the firm,” she said quietly.

 

Nathaniel finally looked up at her, his expression pained. “Rebecca,” he began.

 

“Shh-zip it,” she said, blending the words together into an order for silence, and Nathaniel sighed, ducking his head again, rubbing at his temples with his thumb and his fingertips. “The two of them were shouting at each other as though the closed door was enough to stop everyone in the office from hearing and seeing what was going on. The old man threw some harsh barbs, but your boy here gave it right back.” Paula looked at her pointedly. “And I thought the shouting match was bad _before_ Senior found out he was representing you.”

 

Dropping her shoulders, Rebecca shifted from one foot to the other, twisting her hands together, watching Nathaniel as he watched the floor. He swallowed visibly, his jaw tightening, and all she wanted to do was smooth things over for him. “You don’t have to be doing this,” she said quietly. “I don’t want to make things hard for you. Your dad –“

 

“Is a dick,” he said firmly, finally meeting his eyes and she was struck by the determination she found there. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Me neither,” Paula said, nodding decisively.

 

Rebecca looked between the man she loved and her best friend, feeling overwhelmed by all of the support they were offering her that she wasn’t pretty confident she didn’t deserve. But it was okay – she’d make herself worthy of their forgiveness, and her own. Hugging Paula again, she reached out and squeezed Nathaniel’s hand, knowing that whatever happened to her, she at least had these two people by her side.

 

“We’re going to get you out of here,” Paula said, putting her lawyer voice on, and Rebecca followed her willingly as she walked over to the table and sat down. Sitting opposite her, she eyed the thick folder that Nathaniel put on the table between them as he took his seat beside Paula. “The proper way. And then you’re gonna get to work on making _all of this_ up to me,” she added, waving her hand around in a way that was completely at odds with her almost threatening tone.

 

“Yes, Mama.” Rebecca sank slightly in her seat, glad to be letting Paula take the lead, but she couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the two of them. Now that Paula was here, she knew that everything would be okay.


End file.
